Breathe

As we (Jed, Henry and I) were walking out of the library to the car (maybe 70 yards). Jed decides to call me stupid about 50 times, also telling me I'm the meanest person ever, and that I'm killing him. All because he couldn't check out a movie from the library (you see I really did deserve it). Normally I would have lost it with him when we reached the car, but I calmly put Henry in his seat, the walked to the back of the car where Jed was pouting. I got down to his level and told him how I felt when he said those words to me.  I kept my voice calm and cool. Needless to say he did not improve that moment. But, I kept my temper in control, I choose to show kindness when meanness was presented. 

I think daily we all have to choice to pick kindness or pick meanness. Which ever one we pick with have a huge impact on at the very least our day. 

I'm thankful that the spirit was there to help me stay calm and choose to be kind. 

Sacrament meeting

Last week I got to go the relief society. I thought nothing of it. But the lesson was on oreparing better for the sacrament. This week I did. I got all cleaning done before Sunday. Things were not overly crazy this morning. So I had time to relax and pray that I could feel the spirit. Henry was in the hall with Chris, until after the sacrament was passed. I was able to pray and ponder and renew my covenats. It was a wonderful feeling, that I will not get every Sunday. I was so blessed and thankful to feel it today. 

Women's broadcast

I must admit when I heard they changed the age I the womans broadcast I was upset. I have always loved spending that 1.5 hours being uplifted, and being selfish. I was not excited to bring Annmarie. 

But when the primary president spoke and had the girls sing the first verse of teach me to walk in the light, it was a message to me from Heavenly Father. That is the song I sing when I am trying to get bad thoughts out of my head, etc. I knew it was to me. He was saying Karen this is what I want. 

Then as we watched the video about the temple recommends, I cried. The spirit was so strong. 

I realized that no Annmarie acted just as I thought. But on the way home I asked if she felt the spirit. She said she did, when we sang the songs. I love that she felt the spirit. 

For today and yesterday

Last night I had a major headache so I just went to bed. But my moment for the day was. I had driven to DC to get Chris and take him to a dr appointment. We dropped him off, then tried to find a drive through place to get food for the 2 kids. Needless to say, big cities don't have drive through stuff. So we drove back and found a place to park on the street where I could wait for Chris to be done. I left the music in for a bit to calm some children nerves. Let's just say about 30 minutes later I tried to start the car. A small little click.  It was dead. We prayed. Jed prayed. We tried again. Nothing. We waited and tried again. Henry was starving (I did not plan so well). Jed said I wish dad were here. He can fix it. When Chris came, he did fix the problem. And off we went. Later I was talking with Jed about it and said, "Did Heavenly Father answer our prayers?" 

"Yes"

"Was it answered right away?"

"No"

Then I proceed to tell him that Heavenly Father always hears our prayers and he always answers, just sometimes the answer is wait. Thankful for the teaching moment. 

Today I felt the spirit while talking with a friend at her home. I love that I can now see the spirit there is small simple things

Delete

Today I felt the spirit when I was responding to a text message the normal way I would when I think I am not really at fault. With a sorry then, this is why I did it. But I stopped deleted and and really looked at the other persons perspective. Then truly apologized and then said what I should have done. I thankful that the Spirit led me in a better direction.

Dancing

Today while Henry was watching Frozen, I watche the last 20 with him. Then the credits came on and we started dancing together. He was laughing I was smiling, then it hit me. I am so blessed to have him and all my other children. I love them and am so thankful that I was shown a glimpse of how blessed I was by the Holy Ghost. 

Faith in God

Tonight I was doing Faith in God with Annmarie. She was reciting some of the articles of faith. I knew the spirit was there. I love to see her testimony grow. 

Reading scriptures as a family

Tonight as we were reading scriptures in Helaman 2, Chris was doing an excellent job of making sure the kids knew what was going on. The was laughter, and joking but there was a peace in our home. I'm so blessed to have a husband who wants his kids to learn not just read from the scriptures. 

A child's prayer

I went to a stake activity day with Annmarie. The opening song was a child's prayer. They had the girls sing the first part, and the mothers the 2nd part. The spirit was amazingly strong. 

Peace

I'm amazed at something that bothered me so much a year ago is bringing me so much peace now. I am looking forward to moving to Algona and am happy about it. It feels so right.  What a difference a year makes

Being yourself

I felt the spirt today when I was comfortable enough to be myself while at a RS function. This year has been hard. The move to DC, being in a different ward. So the fact that I finally felt comfortable enough to be myself was wonderful. 

Kindness of others

Today I got 2 dental implants. Lets just say it was . . . fun? But that is not where I felt the spirit, although I'm sure if I think about it, when I was most stressed during the procedure (drilling/ gross liquid) I started to sing a hymn in my head. When I did this I was able to breathe deeply and relax, which doesn't happen with me. But where i really felt the spirit was where a kind friend who took Henry during the appointment, picked Jed up from pre-school and took them both to her house so I could nap. It truly was heaven sent. I'm thankful for others answering my prayers.

Answers to prayers

Today began with a horrible sinking feeling. It was continued from things we learned yesterday. Needless to say fear, doubt, and worry crept in over night, and ran wild this morning. Were these fears warranted. If I had perfect Faith than no. But I do not I am human, and I worry about things. I cried a lot today. I humbled myself and asked people close to me, to pray for us. I pleaded with the Lord, many times. I cried some more, read scriptures, conference talks and prayed and cried more. My biggest worry was not what would happen 3 months from now. It was for Chris. My biggest worry was that the struggles we are facing would distract him so much he could not do school work. Thankfully an answer came quickly today. It came and eased more than just one fear. Today I felt the spirit while praying, I knew My Father in Heaven cared about me and loves me. I knew that He heard my prayers, pleas and worries. I know He heard the prayers of those who were praying for us. I do not know how people make it in life without a knowledge of our Father in Heaven and His son Jesus Christ. I know I do not have perfect faith, and sometimes I stumble and fall, and question His plan. But I know He is kind and He lets us know what we need to know to have the Faith to hold on a little longer.

Easy

When we left Dubuque, we were not all that thrilled. The type of law wasn't exactly what Chris wanted to practice. And as the days passed, we had decided that we really didn't want to go there. Well today things were made easy. Chris did not get the job. While normally this would be a hard blow, we knew we didn't want to go there (maybe if we were offered millions that might change). But most importantly The spirit was preparing us for what was going to happen. I am thankful for this for myself but also for Chris. It is never easy to be told that you are not what they are looking for (it seems everyone wants 2 plus years of experience). I have never seen him react so calmly to bad news. I knew that the spirit had been speaking peace to our hearts. So now we are moving forward with Algona, and still looking to make sure we have no options left open. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, I'm hoping that we can follow the spirit enough to get there.

Stake conference and scripture study

The only thing I got out of stake conference today (which was what I needed to hear the most)

If we are too focused on ourselves we impede revelation. 

Tonight when I went to read my scriptures (about 630 pm) Jeffrey asked if he could join me someday. I decided that he could join me tonight. I showed him a few different ways to study the scriptures. Then we did some things from Preach My Gospel. I was prompted to have him join me. Not sure why, but I hope this becomes the start of something good for us both. 

Song

While sitting at the adult session of stake conference tonight I was truly touched when a few youth sang and played the violin, viola, cello, and piano the sisters in Zion/army of Helaman. They had all the missionaries join on the last chorus. Very powerful.

Then the closing song was I'll go where you want me to go. Loves the last part of the 3rd verse 

So trusting my all to thy tender care,

And knowing thou loves' me,

I'll do thy will with a heart sincere

I'll be what you want me to be. 

I hope to beable to do that soon. It will be worth it. 

Kindness

Today after school I checked my email. I had received an email from the kids principal. It was about the 4th grade trip. His kindness was amazing and I was touched with spirit letting me know there are kind people everywhere not just in Iowa. 

Peace

While trying to figure out if visiting Dubuque was a success, as we are waiting for results, I have been blessed with a wonderful peace knowing that everything will workout as Heavenly Father intends. So thankful for that. 

too many

Today there were many times I felt the spirit. While I was Visiting Teaching. While talking to my Dad on the phone (the front window of a car is bigger than the back because it is more important to look forward than it is to look back. Be like Enoch not Moses) When We got our Costco membership rebate, which included enough extra to buy a box of diapers. When I read President Benson's talk Do not Despair. What I loved about today is it was not all filled with happiness but I was still able to feel the spirit multiple times.

Peace

What a turbulent day today has been. I've experienced a range of emotions today but I have peace right now. Peace meaning I'm where I'm supposed to be and doing what I should be doing. Love feeling that way. 

Prayer

Today Chris and I flew to Dubuque,IA for a job interview. As he was in the interview I prayed multiple times. I prayed he would do well. But mostly I prayed that we would do well with the outcome. Whatever it maybe. I had peace and hope that when we find out what happens, we will be at peace with the decision. 

conversations

We (Chris and I) went over to a friends house for Chris to get a priesthood blessing before his interview tomorrow. We were there for over 3 hours. Chatting. But what was wonderful was we chatted about gospel things, non gospel things and everything in between. I love having a friend who we can talk like this. So thankful for friendships where talking about the gospel is natural.

Sun

It was so wonderful to be outside today. Feeling the warmth of the sun was wonderful. It makes me thankful that spring is coming. I love spring. It really is the rebirth of so many things. I love the spring brings Easter and the resurrection on my Savior. I'm so thankful for Him and all that he did for me.

Phone call

I have been stressing about the interview next week and decided to call (felt promoted) to call a wonderful friend. It was so nice and peaceful and calming to talk to her. 

How to say it.

Going to law school I accepted the fact that for 3 years we were going to be poor, and need help. Being the proud person I am I had a lot of humbling that needed to be done. I was prepared for it for 3 years (or I became prepared, or forced etc). I was not prepared for an extra year of needing "help." 

On Tuesday I received a text to call someone and I instantly knew what it was for. It was offering help. I got the text and cried. I was (am still kind of am) at the breaking point. I'm sick of feeling needy on others (be it a person or an organization). This last year of law school has been especially trying for a multitude of reasons. After I told Chris he needed to call the person. I have begun to see that this text/phone call to offer help was an answer to our fasting and prayers. This was not the way I had planned for it to go. I wanted a miracle. I wanted it my way. But as we often learn through life our way is not the best way. Again and again I am seeing by keeping this journal that it is the small and simple things. 

Please do not take this as I am not thankful for the help. I am. I could not be more thankful. But, one gets to the point that they want to be self sufficent. They want to feel needed and useful. 

I have come to think that satan uses this to his advantage very very well. When people have passed the point of feeling useful and needed it is easy to keep them entrapped in the snare of perpetual assistance. 

I'm thankful that ours is hopefully coming to an end very soon (please please). I am thankful for the wonderful services that we have received. I know that all we can do to say thank you is to pay it forward someday when we can. 

So I felt the spirit today by realizing that there is a time and a season for all things. 

Time

I felt the spirit today when I decided to spend time with just Jed after bed time. We read half if a chapter of Harry Potter 1.  I need to be better about spending more time with my kids individually. I'm so thankful for them and the opportunity I have of being their Mom here on earth. 

Example

I felt the spirit today as I realized that I discovered the person who holds the glue together in a circle of friends. I am so thankful that I am friends with her and can see her example, and hope to be more like her.

being together

Sometimes it is just nice to feel the peace of sitting on the couch with your kids and enjoying the moment. Love this and yes since there was love there so was the spirit.

Music

Sunday's tend to be hard days for me to feel the spirit. Interesting Huh? Well with 2 kids 5 and under who have no desire to be quite during a 1 plus hour sacrament meeting. Then on to Primary where I watch my 5 year old make not so great choices in a large group setting only to go teach my 6 yr old's class to occasionally have the Spirit there.

There is one way that I can always feel the spirit on Sunday though. It is through the songs we sing. Our closing Song today (after a bit of a stressful meeting) Was Go Forth with Faith. I've song this song lots of times but as I was using my finger to point to Jed where we were the end of the 2nd verse really struck me.

Go forth to serve and do your best

With no thought of reward;

Then you shall know the boundless joy

Of serving Christ, the Lord.

I don't know why it hit me so hard today. But The Go forth to serve and do your best. That is all we are ever asked to do is our best. After a hard meeting it was nice to hear that I was doing my best at that moment. Yes I do long for the days where I can actually pray during the passing of the sacrament. But Heavenly Father is kind, He lets me feel the spirit, for what will impact me the most. Do your best, and have boundless joy. 

Exercise

How can exercise help me feel the spirit. Well lets just say I exercise to keep my body in the clothes I own. But the other reason almost the bigger reason is It keeps me sane and calm. Everyone has their "thing" that helps them through the day. I have to exercise. I have to get a great workout or I am not a happy person. Today I decided to be lazy and not get up and exercise. By midday I was a mess. I was angry, my patience was gone and I still had 7 hours until bedtime. I had thought of just laying around, but the spirit prompted me to exercise. After a great workout, I felt so much better. I could think clearer, I felt the tension come off my shoulders. I hope everyone has something like this that helps them kick all the junk out of their heads and start fresh.