How to say it.

Going to law school I accepted the fact that for 3 years we were going to be poor, and need help. Being the proud person I am I had a lot of humbling that needed to be done. I was prepared for it for 3 years (or I became prepared, or forced etc). I was not prepared for an extra year of needing "help." 

On Tuesday I received a text to call someone and I instantly knew what it was for. It was offering help. I got the text and cried. I was (am still kind of am) at the breaking point. I'm sick of feeling needy on others (be it a person or an organization). This last year of law school has been especially trying for a multitude of reasons. After I told Chris he needed to call the person. I have begun to see that this text/phone call to offer help was an answer to our fasting and prayers. This was not the way I had planned for it to go. I wanted a miracle. I wanted it my way. But as we often learn through life our way is not the best way. Again and again I am seeing by keeping this journal that it is the small and simple things. 

Please do not take this as I am not thankful for the help. I am. I could not be more thankful. But, one gets to the point that they want to be self sufficent. They want to feel needed and useful. 

I have come to think that satan uses this to his advantage very very well. When people have passed the point of feeling useful and needed it is easy to keep them entrapped in the snare of perpetual assistance. 

I'm thankful that ours is hopefully coming to an end very soon (please please). I am thankful for the wonderful services that we have received. I know that all we can do to say thank you is to pay it forward someday when we can. 

So I felt the spirit today by realizing that there is a time and a season for all things.